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skysenshi (03.29.2004)
Not-So-Divine Guy
I'm currently bashing my head against the wall as I realize that words escape me. I certainly took down notes, and I definitely took down names. But for the life of me, I could not jog my brain cells enough to help me write more than, "Blah." Lessee, you have your usual fantasy hero—an ugly one at that—who wields a sword that's bigger than he is. And like your usual hormonally imbalanced h-protagonists, he tries to boink as many girls as he can. Now for the girls: Teres, the swordswoman; Mia, the deathly sick; Dr. Shizuki, the feisty medic; Manaty, the priestess; Sakura, the childhood bestfriend; and Youra, the mysterious girl that Hyde rescues from the cave.
Is there a story? Apparently, there is, though I couldn't
shake the feeling that this is a cheap-o hentai version of
.hack//sign sent to punish me for giving it a bad review (see
.hack//sign
in Otaku Fridge). Hyde spends four episodes finding some treasure—digressing
repeatedly along the way, I might add—and battling monsters
as he goes. Of course, while he deviates from the main storyline,
he actually tries to salve some desperate (but pretty) girl's
battered ego/health/loneliness, thus giving way to what a
hentai fan would be looking forward to. On a side note, it's
only now that I was able to solidify my theory that the women
of H titles have very low self-esteem. They have this penchant
for self-flagellation that makes it easier for a guy to say,
"You're not like that!" or, "You're beautiful!" or, "You're
a strong person!" while trying to get into their panties.
Hyde is the medieval version of that turd unit in End
of Summer, although Hyde is a bit more tolerable even
if I can't explain why. It must be the gigantic sword. He's
a rakehell, and he doesn't deny it except to the one girl
that matters most, which makes me want to tie him to a wooden
pole and whip his bloody carcass. I suppose his exploits can
be considered romantic, and, with Youra's and Mia's situations,
even noble. The thing is, he tells half of the girls he deflowers
that he loves them. Hm. Whatever. But then, some guys really
love deeply, but just can't cure their itch. One girl just
isn't going to cut it. (Anthropologically speaking, homo sapiens
aren't designed for monogamy, so even if I am in a monogamous
relationship with my husband, I'll forgive Hyde.)
At some point, I thought I was going to say, "Aw." There's
this scene with Sakura, wherein he comforts her while she
admits to having feelings for him and that she didn't want
to be his burden. You'd think that because she's his childhood
friend, he'd respect her sadness and try to give her solace
that isn't related to his crotch. He hugs her and I think,
"Oh, that's so sweet." The romantic in me finds this scene
quixotic.until he starts removing her clothes. I slap my forehead.
What is the matter with me? Dvine [LUV] wasn't created with
women's emotional needs in mind!
Remember I just mentioned that Hyde can be noble? Well, in some instances he can be an utter ass. His personality varies, depending on the girl he's with. Mia, Youra, and the Priestess Minaty are treated with utmost care. I guess, he'd better, or risk having his soul sent to hell early by Minaty. He isn't so gentle with the rest. He takes advantage of the good doctor's important visit. Dr. Shizuki, fortunately for him, has missed having sex for a long time so there'd probably be no way in hell for her to whack him with a sexual harassment case. As for one of Mia's maids, well, she isn't so lucky as Hyde not only demands a favor of her (something to do with virginal secretions), she also gets called a slut constantly for her effort.
Aesthetically speaking, Dvine [LUV] is.divine! The artwork
is crisp, clear and beautiful, if a bit weird. Hyde sometimes
makes funny faces reminiscent of Great Teacher Onizuka, albeit not as unsightly. The atmosphere
is dreamy. It's like the screen is masked in ethereal smokiness.
Hentai scenes actually follow some sort of gradation. The
characters start off with mild coupling, wherein you don't
even see their genitals. And then the sex becomes more and
more detailed as Hyde seduces with more and more females.
If there's one thing I'd like to thank the creators of Dvine
[LUV] for, it's that the h-scenes are clean. Yes, the word
is clean—none of those brutal bleeding sequences commonly
shown when virgins are being rid of their hymens. You know,
that makes you think the female is being stabbed rather than
being made love to, what with the amount of blood that flows
out of her nether parts. Dvine [LUV], despite having a not-so-divine
dude, presents you with slow, gentle, and pleasant exchanges.
In my book, that's one heckuva saving grace.
Why it reminded me of .hack//sign? I battle drowsiness throughout
the viewing process. Then again, maybe it's just the flu. |